In my past life I was single, carefree, happy and not really looking to change any of that, and then I met hubby and life got even better.
But today is about past lives.
You see, Joyce, my roommate and best friend from my University days (also in my past life) is hosting a “Past Lives Blog Hop” today over at Catch My Words. When a voice from the past asks me to do something . . . I at least think about it.
And as I thought about my past life a few funny stories about our friendship popped up, but you know the old saying, what goes around. So I moved on.
I was single in my late 20s and early 30s. I am a fairly sure I looked a bit better than I do these days, as I tended to draw a bit of unwanted attention from certain men. Which reminds me of a few of the worst pick up lines I have heard.
And the whopper, the all time worst pick up line ever . . . I challenge you to beat this one . . .
I was at Black’s Beach in San Diego, California with a female friend, and I was just finishing up a swim and walking out of the water as a man I never saw before approached me,
“Sorry, you must have me confused with someone else, I am not Beth.”
“Are you sure?”
It was clearly going down hill now, but just wait, it is about to get way worse.
Oh, did I mention, Black’s Beach is a nude beach. I am appropriately dressed. He, having just arrived, was in shorts and t-shirt.
“Yes, I am sure and I am sure I don’t know you.”
Ok, here it comes, one of the world’s worst pick up lines . . . .
“Well is it OK if I sit with you anyway as I have a really larger p^#$* and the gay men on the beach are always hitting on me.”
So, what do you think I did?
If you guessed anything other than asking him if that line really works on women, and telling him to get lost, you are wrong.
When I sat down to write this, I had several in mind, now all the rest are gone, but here are a few classic bad pick up l lines that I haven’t actually had the pleasure to hear first hand, but with Valentine’s Day on the way, these funny quotes seem perfect to share:
“Excuse me, do bras come in size perfect? Because I’d buy that for you. Seriously, what’s your cup size?”
“Are you a musician vampire? Because my organ is filling up with blood.”
“Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”
“You are so sweet you could put Hershey’s out of business.”
“See my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I’m cute.”
“If you were a burger at McDonald’s you’d be the McGorgeous.”
“I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Walmart, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.”
“I lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?”
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