Worst Pick Up Lines Ever – for the Past Life Blog Hop

In my past life I was single, carefree, happy and not really looking to change any of that, and then I met hubby and life got even better.

But today is about past lives.

You see, Joyce, my roommate and best friend from my University days (also in my past life) is hosting a “Past Lives Blog Hop” today over at Catch My Words.  When a voice from the past asks me to do something . . . I at least think about it.

And as I thought about my past life a few funny stories about our friendship popped up, but you know the old saying, what goes around.  So I moved on.

I was single in my late 20s and early 30s. I am a fairly sure I looked a bit better than I do these days, as I tended to draw a bit of unwanted attention from certain men. Which reminds me of a few of the worst pick up lines I have heard.

And the whopper, the all time worst pick up line ever . . . I challenge you to beat this one . . .

Worst Pick Up Lines

Blacks Beach, San Diego

I was at Black’s Beach in San Diego, California with a female friend, and I was just finishing up a swim and walking out of the water as a man I never saw before approached me,

“Hi Beth.”

“Sorry, you must have me confused with someone else, I am not Beth.”

“Are you sure?”

It was clearly going down hill now, but just wait, it is about to get way worse.

Oh, did I mention, Black’s Beach is a nude beach.  I am appropriately dressed. He, having just arrived, was in shorts and t-shirt.

“Yes, I am sure and I am sure I don’t know you.”

Ok, here it comes, one of the world’s worst pick up lines . . . .

“Well is it OK if I sit with you anyway as I have a really larger p^#$* and the gay men on the beach are always hitting on me.”

So, what do you think I did?

If you guessed anything other than asking him if that line really works on women, and telling him to get lost, you are wrong.

Worst Pick Up Lines

Blacks Beach at Sunset

When I sat down to write this, I had several in mind, now all the rest are gone, but here are a few classic bad pick up  l lines that I haven’t actually had the pleasure to hear first hand, but with Valentine’s Day on the way, these funny quotes seem perfect to share:

“Excuse me, do bras come in size perfect? Because I’d buy that for you. Seriously, what’s your cup size?”

“Are you a musician vampire? Because my organ is filling up with blood.”

“Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”

“You are so sweet you could put Hershey’s out of business.”

“See my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I’m cute.”

“If you were a burger at McDonald’s you’d be the McGorgeous.”

“I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Walmart, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.”

“I lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?”

**Don’t forget to enter my current giveaway for a 3-month membership to Home Exchange.com.

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Photo Credits: SDPitbull and elisasizzle

About Rhonda Albom

When I met my hubby he was looking for a traveling companion. Together we have moved to New Zealand and visited over 42 countries, most with our now teenage girls. Things rarely go as planned, and generally we have an amusing tale to tell. That's what Laugh Quotes is about - the fun side of our adventures and our expat life.


  1. What a hoot! I bet you did get a lot of unwanted attention in your youth and still would if hubby weren’t hanging so close. I like the music vampire line. Thanks for hopping along. This post works great. That’s the fun of a blog hop, the different interpretations.

    Luv’s not loving me today.

  2. Those are pretty awful indeed. I think I’d just leave if I had to hear those lines. In fact I’m sure I’d leave.

    Have a terrific day. :)
    Comedy Plus recently posted..A Cup of TeaMy Profile

  3. I kind of admire men who have the confidence to approach a stranger like that and try to get them to laugh or something to establish a connection. But you’re right…they are horrible. But is there a good way to break the ice with someone? I don’t know if there is. Because too many people form an impression the instant they see what you look like physically. They already know to some extent, what all they are going to do with you and how far they will go.
    Michael Offutt recently posted..Thank you Pacific Rim for giving us rockets on the elbowMy Profile

    • Hmmm, thanks for showing me the other side of bad pick up lines. I guess they really do take a bit of bravery. I am not really sure the best way to approach a stranger, I guess that’s the attraction of dance clubs, “Do you want to dance?” is acceptable.

  4. This was great! I’m glad that you were appropriately dressed at the nude beach, and handled (or rather didn’t handle) that man beautifully! The vampire musician line was a classic! When I was in college I hosted a radio show, and best pick-up lines was one of my themes. Sadly, I never heard anything this good.
    Julie recently posted..IWSG: The Write FitMy Profile

  5. Danyelle Franciosa says:

    I think that is not actually the worst pick up lines. By the way if I am the one who hears it I will definitely be go away.
    Danyelle Franciosa recently posted..Brisbane Bifold Doors Newstead – Quality Brisbane Bifold Doors Supplying Newstead AreaMy Profile

  6. I must admit the worst and funniest pick up line I’ve ever heard was, “Would you be my homework? I’d like to do you on the table”

  7. Best pick up line I ever used? ” Hi I’m Mike.” I guess girls get so used to cornball lines like you posted that when I just introduced myself they seemed relieved. If they said go away, I went away, but if they said; “Hi, I’m …..” then a pleasant evening could ensue.
    Mike recently posted..The First Frivolous Friday Of The YearMy Profile

  8. Lisa Ross says:

    LOL I like this one the best:

    “I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Walmart, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.”

  9. Sounds like the gay men at the beach are welcome to him
    Tony McGurk recently posted..Stowaways #1 – The Camping TripMy Profile

  10. LOL I think he just wanted to brag about his vertical dangler :-)

    Have great day Rhonda and Do you know that I……..no forget it ;-)
    stevebethere recently posted..Silly Sunday – 2+2+2=7My Profile

  11. Elise Fallson says:

    Oh that was so funny! :D I can’t imagine any of them actually working. Wish I could contribute, but I got nothing.

  12. vampire & mcgorgeous! winners! ha!
    had to read, so funny!
    tara tyler recently posted..Friday 4 U – new beginningsMy Profile

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