In my past life I was single, carefree, happy and not really looking to change any of that, and then I met hubby and life got even better.
But today is about past lives.
You see, Joyce, my roommate and best friend from my University days (also in my past life) is hosting a “Past Lives Blog Hop” today over at Catch My Words. When a voice from the past asks me to do something . . . I at least think about it.
And as I thought about my past life a few funny stories about our friendship popped up, but you know the old saying, what goes around. So I moved on.
I was single in my late 20s and early 30s. I am a fairly sure I looked a bit better than I do these days, as I tended to draw a bit of unwanted attention from certain men. Which reminds me of a few of the worst pick up lines I have heard.
And the whopper, the all time worst pick up line ever . . . I challenge you to beat this one . . .
Blacks Beach, San Diego
I was at Black’s Beach in San Diego, California with a female friend, and I was just finishing up a swim and walking out of the water as a man I never saw before approached me,
“Hi Beth.”
“Sorry, you must have me confused with someone else, I am not Beth.”
“Are you sure?”
It was clearly going down hill now, but just wait, it is about to get way worse.
Oh, did I mention, Black’s Beach is a nude beach. I am appropriately dressed. He, having just arrived, was in shorts and t-shirt.
“Yes, I am sure and I am sure I don’t know you.”
Ok, here it comes, one of the world’s worst pick up lines . . . .
“Well is it OK if I sit with you anyway as I have a really larger p^#$* and the gay men on the beach are always hitting on me.”
So, what do you think I did?
If you guessed anything other than asking him if that line really works on women, and telling him to get lost, you are wrong.
Blacks Beach at Sunset
When I sat down to write this, I had several in mind, now all the rest are gone, but here are a few classic bad pick up l lines that I haven’t actually had the pleasure to hear first hand, but with Valentine’s Day on the way, these funny quotes seem perfect to share:
“Excuse me, do bras come in size perfect? Because I’d buy that for you. Seriously, what’s your cup size?”
“Are you a musician vampire? Because my organ is filling up with blood.”
“Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”
“You are so sweet you could put Hershey’s out of business.”
“See my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I’m cute.”
“If you were a burger at McDonald’s you’d be the McGorgeous.”
“I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Walmart, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.”
“I lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?”
**Don’t forget to enter my current giveaway for a 3-month membership to Home Exchange.com.
Related Links:
- Topless Women on the Beach in Spain
- My Tits Are Too Big or My Hubby Is Rude
- 50 Funny Valentine’s Day Gifts Guaranteed To Make You Laugh
- Unique Love Hearts for Your Home
Photo Credits: SDPitbull and elisasizzle
Travel with us as we laugh our way around the globe. I am Rhonda Albom, wife, mom, photographer and blogger, sharing the lighter side of our traveling family's life with two teens. 
What a hoot! I bet you did get a lot of unwanted attention in your youth and still would if hubby weren’t hanging so close. I like the music vampire line. Thanks for hopping along. This post works great. That’s the fun of a blog hop, the different interpretations.
Luv’s not loving me today.
http://joycelansky.blogspot.com/2013/01/im-host-for-this-post-past-lives.html
Your hop was fun, and took me in an unexpected direction. Thanks for the invite.
Those are pretty awful indeed. I think I’d just leave if I had to hear those lines. In fact I’m sure I’d leave.
Have a terrific day.
Comedy Plus recently posted..A Cup of Tea
I would be racing you out the door
I kind of admire men who have the confidence to approach a stranger like that and try to get them to laugh or something to establish a connection. But you’re right…they are horrible. But is there a good way to break the ice with someone? I don’t know if there is. Because too many people form an impression the instant they see what you look like physically. They already know to some extent, what all they are going to do with you and how far they will go.
Michael Offutt recently posted..Thank you Pacific Rim for giving us rockets on the elbow
Hmmm, thanks for showing me the other side of bad pick up lines. I guess they really do take a bit of bravery. I am not really sure the best way to approach a stranger, I guess that’s the attraction of dance clubs, “Do you want to dance?” is acceptable.
This was great! I’m glad that you were appropriately dressed at the nude beach, and handled (or rather didn’t handle) that man beautifully! The vampire musician line was a classic! When I was in college I hosted a radio show, and best pick-up lines was one of my themes. Sadly, I never heard anything this good.
Julie recently posted..IWSG: The Write Fit
LOL Julie, you do know the appropriate dress for a nude beach {{blush}}
I think that is not actually the worst pick up lines. By the way if I am the one who hears it I will definitely be go away.
Danyelle Franciosa recently posted..Brisbane Bifold Doors Newstead – Quality Brisbane Bifold Doors Supplying Newstead Area
Do share if you have heard worse
I must admit the worst and funniest pick up line I’ve ever heard was, “Would you be my homework? I’d like to do you on the table”
That is a good/bad one. Thanks for sharing it.
Best pick up line I ever used? ” Hi I’m Mike.” I guess girls get so used to cornball lines like you posted that when I just introduced myself they seemed relieved. If they said go away, I went away, but if they said; “Hi, I’m …..” then a pleasant evening could ensue.
Mike recently posted..The First Frivolous Friday Of The Year
I can see how that would work, it’s probably quite refreshing. Glad you enjoyed pleasant evenings.
LOL I like this one the best:
“I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Walmart, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.”
LOL – can you ride the Walmart Pony carousel all day for a quarter?
Sounds like the gay men at the beach are welcome to him
Tony McGurk recently posted..Stowaways #1 – The Camping Trip
LOL, You think, or was it just a bad pick up line.
LOL I think he just wanted to brag about his vertical dangler
Have great day Rhonda and Do you know that I……..no forget it
stevebethere recently posted..Silly Sunday – 2+2+2=7
I think so, but we will never know for sure. LOL – love your half comment
Oh that was so funny!
I can’t imagine any of them actually working. Wish I could contribute, but I got nothing.
vampire & mcgorgeous! winners! ha!
had to read, so funny!
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