A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his cheque.
He marched straight up to the counter and said,
“Hi. You know…., I just HATE drawing welfare. I’d really rather have a job.”
The social worker behind the counter replied,
“Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a Chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You’ll have to drive around in his 2011 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes.
“Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You’ll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips.
“This is rather awkward to say but you will also have, as part of your job, the assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20′s and has a rather strong sex drive.”
The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said,
“You’re bull shittin’ me!”
The social worker said,
“Yeah, well … You started it.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
(Thanks Carolyn for both of these jokes.)
After I ran those three funny guest jokes while I away, it got me thinking. Now that I write Laugh Quotes, people send me funny stuff all the time. I was thinking of adding a weekly joke feature. Comments are fixed and working fine once again, so please tell me please, what you think of this idea?
Please don’t forget to click here to Vote for Laugh Quotes on the fence:
Hahahaha love the joke and the idea.
Thanks James. I hope others like the weekly joke idea too.
you are terrible! but hilarious, too funny =D
tara tyler recently posted..It’s Party Time!
It made me laugh. I had to pass it on.
Great joke, and I love your idea for a weekly feature!
Julie recently posted..Melodrama At The Mall
Thanks Julie. Happy to make you smile today.
Great jokes, particularly like the thought for the day……trying to find a conversation where I can paraphrase it as I know it’ll make hubby laugh
Love the idea of making this a weekly feature.
Just wait for that magic moment . . .
Lmfao I loved that and so apt these days in UK
BTW Rhonda thanks for the fart tip LOL
Have a great Sunday and remember, don’t hold in
stevebethere recently posted..In The Gym
Sadly, I think it is apt in many parts of the world these days. And no worries on the fart tip. I am here to be helpful.
Sounds like the job the guys turned down from Dumb and Dumber.
“Do you realize what you’ve just done?”
“The town is that way!”
Joyce Lansky recently posted..Sea Shells
LOL – I loved Dumb and Dumber. I had to think for a few moments about which scene that was, and since it was at the end, I got to run through all the funny ones in my head – LOL – Thanks for the morning laughs.
This feature is a Great idea – I love it – who can’t use a quick joke to lighten up the day! Thanks for the chuckles
You are welcome my sister.
Thanks for reading.
Your feature idea is a great one.
Love the first one too!
Don’t tell my son about the fart thing. It will give him another excuse to fart whenever he feels like it…but then I don’t have to deal with it anymore since he lives on his own now.
Laura recently posted..Simple Sunday
Whew, glad you liked it. You were the one reader I was worried the bad word might offend. (It was Laugh Quotes first bad word).
Bwahahahahaha. I love them both.
Have a terrific day.
Comedy Plus recently posted..Awww…Mondays #90
Thanks Sandee, I am always flattered when really funny people think I am funny too.
A weekly joke is a great idea. I used to run a jokes group on Yahoo, and as well as posting jokes, I used to write about the bizarre things that went on in my life. This used to be as popular as the jokes. I guess you have it the other way around, blogging first, but both would go hand in hand nicely I think.
Tony Payne recently posted..No Need To Worry
Thanks Tony. I guess great minds think alike
I love it can not think of any thing funny right now but loved the one about the man on welfare
happy to make you laugh today.
Welcome to Laugh Quotes.