A really special treat today. My all time favorite blogger, the funniest woman I know has written a guest blog post.
If you don’t know Kris from Pretty All True, you are certainly missing out. Kris is one of those amazing writers; hilarious yet she can add a mix of realism that touches on all your emotions and leaves you waiting for tomorrow’s post.
Thanks you Kris for blogging today on Laugh Quotes (people, you can thank Kris in the comments). So without further ado, here is Kris . . .
Wait . . . what?
by Kris
When I was first dating my husband many many years ago, he mentioned casually (by which I mean that he totally shoe-horned this bit of bragging into a completely unrelated conversation) that he played guitar.
Huh.
He so did not look like a guitar player to me.
At first, I thought he meant that he played guitar, like in a band or something.
But that’s not what he meant . . . he just played guitar for his own enjoyment.
Well, that’s pretty awesome, right? I adjusted my expectations accordingly.
By which I mean that I assumed that the mostly stillish waters of this man’s surface hid deep turbulent artistic roiling depths of emotion. Yay! Maybe he will write me a song! Maybe he will serenade me! This is a tortured man of poetry and music and lyrics!
Weird, though . . . he did not seem like such a man.
So I waited for him to reveal himself to me.
He carried on being a man of stillish water.
Huh.
I really liked this man of stillish water. I needed calm and peace and serenity in my life. I really liked this man. I thought I could see a future with this man.
So now the guitar thing began to weigh on me.
What if this man really was a tortured artistic wannabe musician?
I didn’t want that in my life, not on a permanent basis.
So I watched for signs of troubled depths.
He carried on being a man of stillish waters.
Huh.
But then?
There was this . . .
I arrived at the house he shared with several roommates one night after work. One of the roommates let me in, saying, “Mark’s messing around with his guitar.” I walked to Mark’s room, from which I could hear weird music emanating. I took a deep breath . . . here was the moment when I would see the depths he had been keeping from me.
I knocked and then opened the door.
There was the musician, and he smiled and welcomed me with a beckoning wave.
Peter Gabriel-era Genesis filled the room, and Mark was playing along on his guitar.
A single chord, strummed over and over again.
Strum . . . strum . . . strum.
Like a drumbeat, if there is a drum in the world that accomplishes total disharmony with every beat.
Strum . . . strum . . . strum.
His face was filled with intensity as he carefully placed his fingers and found the exact same incredibly wrong chord again.
Strum . . . strum . . . strum.
Relief and laughter flooded my body.
I giggled hysterically and threw myself down on the bed, “Oh my god! I thought you meant you actually played guitar!”
He was puzzled, “What are you talking about? I am playing guitar.”
Strum . . . strum . . . strum.
I kept giggling and wiped tears from my eyes, “Oh my god. I love you.”
Wait . . . what?
Twenty-five years, people.
He is still making me laugh.
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Travel with us as we laugh our way around the globe. I am Rhonda Albom, wife, mom, photographer and blogger, sharing the lighter side of our traveling family's life with two teens. 
Kris, I’m surprised you didn’t join him on your air guitar! Very cute story, and the best part was that he took himself so seriously! What would we do without our boys? Thanks for guest blogging for Rhonda. I trust her judgement in all things funny!
Julie recently posted..My Sons 5 Minutes of Fame on Oprah
Hey Julie, Isn’t Kris awesome. She is so funny, and she has a serious side too. Such a brilliant writer. I was so happy to when she agreed to guest post. Don’t forget to follow her on facebook too: http://www.facebook.com/PrettyAllTrue
OK, so let me see if I can figure out how this drop-down nesting thing works.
That’s really funny! Sounds like my father. He “plays guitar” too!
Clarissa Draper recently posted..Book Review- Liquorice Twists by Dorte Jakobsen
My husband is such a loon.
Love that silly unmusical man.
Yay!
Kris,
You really thought he could *play* guitar with his monkey hands?
Hee hee!
I would have been full of giggles myself.
Wonder what his room mates thought?
Stasha recently posted..There is me
I was unaware of his monkey hands at the time.
When he is not holding a glass, though?
He has awesome hands.
Ahem.
Ha! Love it. Presumably he is a better Thought Leader than guitar player…
I too would have been alarmed to find myself dating a secretly tortured artist. They are for ill-advisedly making out… not for dating.
Hee hee!
He is an awesome Thought Leader.
He tells me that all the time.
What?
hahaha! That is awesome. In the same situation I probably would be on the floor laughing. Boys and their egos. They think they can do everything.
Hey Kim, I would have been right there next to you laughing on the floor.
The bed was perfect for giggling.
Hee hee!
Kris, awesome awesome Kris.
Hilarious and touching all at the same time.
Awesome.
Kris is so Awesome
Perfect choice of words.
Happy sighs.
I do love Russell.
Hahaha! What a cute story! Great post!
Crystal recently posted..I Love Being an Influence
Thank you so much!
LOL men have to brag!! Loved the story.
Dafeenah recently posted..Saturday Spotlight – Alex J Cavanaugh
Yay!
Thank you, babe!
My favorite part is that he is still making you laugh 25 years later.
Alison Golden recently posted..3 Keys To A Happy Relationship And Avoiding Abuse
He is awesomely funny.
Sometimes even intentionally.
Hee hee!
Awww . . . thank you for the love, Ladies!
Ok, this comment is from earlier when I did not understand how the drop-down response feature worked.
Oops.
I know, it is a total pain. I don’t know how to change it. One day. Maybe. Hopefully. I will figure it out.
I’d really have thought with his extraordinary pinkie dexterity, he’d be better at chords and fretwork.
But our dexterities all manifest differently, don’t they?
CDG recently posted..Ten Days- Nine Photos
Yes, they do.
Mark has skills.
That’s all I am at liberty to say.
Ahem.
This is the perfect example of the kind of stories that leave husbands/boyfriends shaking their heads. I don’t mean that in a negative way, but we tend not to see the world like you do. Just a different sort of perspective.
Jack recently posted..I Survived The Rapture & All I Got Was a T-Shirt
Hee hee!
You are correct, sir!
Mark’s memory of this moment is slightly different than mine.
He remembers all the same events, but from a different perspective.
So funny.
Love that misguided man.
And he never had one lesson.
Joyce Lansky recently posted..I Still Have It – A Scap of Toilet Paper
How did you know?
Totally self-taught.
Snort!
Hahaha that’s hilarious. Men do have differently wired brains don’t they? Love your Mark and Me stories.
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Gratitude
Yay!
Thank you so much for coming over to Rhonda’s to read this one!
Love that.
Kris
I like this a lot. I like the two of you a lot. Perfect match if you ask me. Rock on Mark!!
Angela recently posted..Extreme Lameness
We are a perfect match.
Neither of us perfect.
But a perfect match.
Yay!
I laughed at this. My DH wanted to try to learn the guitar. Never happened but we do have a guitar in the basement taking up space.
The question I have is…does he still play? strum?
Tina recently posted..Sometimes They Surprise You
Tina -
A few years ago, he bought the video game “Guitar Hero.”
So . . . much . . . giggling.
strum
strum
strum
Hey Kris, I read this and tried to comment on my phone over the long weekend away, but my thumbs just don’t work that way. I had written a lovely, funny, pithy two sentence masterpiece when pffft – it disappeared into the digital sludge. I am now waaaay too tired for love, fun and pith. But wanted to say “hello I read this”… And you know how I feel about you & Mark anyway, already, sheesh. G’night!
Varda (SquashedMom) recently posted..SNSS- Sibling Saplings
Hello, lovely frustrated Varda!
Thank you.
You know I love you.
Kris
I’ve said it before & I’ll say it again, Mark is perfect for you, Kris.
I remember dating a “townie” with a daughter while in college. For her fifth birthday, I gave her a cheap electric guitar (at the time, I was a music major, and had access to music stores that were looking to get rid of excess inventory). I ran into the mother / my ex-girlfriend not too long ago (my mom lives in the town where I went to college) and she started laughing. At first, I thought it was because I had just nearly shaved my head, which she would have taken as a way to hide premature baldness. But, no – the daughter (now 15) was starting a band. She, of course, was going to be the guitarist. Because she played guitar.
Apparently, after I gave things to her, Chelsea watched the instructional video & played along for a week. And then the guitar worked its way to the random detritus you might expect in a house with a growing girl.
John recently posted..On falling in love with the gym- yet again
Mark is perfect for me.
He really is.
So this girl with the band plays as well as my husband?
Or did she actually learn some skills?
And ummm. . . the shaving thing?
That is to make you more aerodynamic when you run?
Snicker.
Ahem.
Love this little window into the back story of you and Mark.
Giggling while reading about you giggling is so much fun
that is all
AmyLynn recently posted..Make a Difference Monday
Yay for stories of giggling and the people who giggle while reading them!
Thank you, Amy!
Yay!
Kris
Yay for stories of giggling and the people who giggle while reading them!
Thank you, Amy!
Yay!
Ok, and this would be a screw-up.
Rhonda could delete this thread, and then I would look less foolish.
Or she could leave it and giggle.
I know what I would do in her shoes.
Snort!